I lost count on how many Project 50s I’ve started only to stop at maybe day 16 or even day 4, and I am realizing just now that maybe, I have been too hard on myself on my previous attempts—like I always do.
Today, I am on day 1 once again but this time around, I wanted to begin with something gentle. Like I am seeking that slow, calm life I’ve always yearned for, and not the kind of slow life that borderlines laziness. Project 50 requires you to read 10 pages of a non-fiction book, preferably self-help, and so I decided on Haemin Sunim’s Love For Imperfect Things.
And instead of reading just 10 pages, I read the whole first chapter.
And it talked about love. Not the romantic kind, but the kind we often forget to give ourselves. Here’s the line that stayed with me:
When we become kinder to ourselves, we can become kinder to the world.
Justin Bieber was up to something when he sang Love Yourself.
These days, we live in a world where compassion often comes from strangers. People prefer low-maintenance friendships—the kind where you can respond to a message after three months and still pick up where you left off. They leave relationships that drain their energy, and they walk away from connections that no longer meet their expectations.
I’m not gonna lie, I’m one of those people.
Not the replying-after-three-months part (because I take that very personally, yes 😅), but the part about choosing which relationships to maintain and to let go. I want friendships that nurture me, that help me grow into a better version of myself.
For me, that’s one way of loving myself.
And when I meet people—strangers or not—who say hurtful things, I remind myself: maybe the world wasn’t very kind to them. Hindi siguro sila minahal nang tama.
And it’s not their fault, but I can’t help but feel sorry for them.
I remember this one lady who was so mean to me on social media. I never responded to her, but out of curiosity, I visited her profile. That’s when I found out she couldn’t even buy herself a cake or flowers on her birthday. Then I thought, didn’t she have friends? A brother who could buy her a cake from a local bakery? Or someone who’d buy her a cupcake or a muffin from a neighborhood coffee shop?
But somehow, I understood.
Maybe the reason why kindness to ourselves matters is because when we love ourselves, we learn not to take love away from others.
And this first chapter of Love For Imperfect Things reminded me of that: love doesn’t always have to come from others. It can begin within.
Because when you love yourself, you naturally choose people who will love and value you, too. You stop tolerating half-hearted affection or bare-minimum effort because the kind of love you give yourself becomes the standard for how others should treat you.
And when you live that way, it becomes a circle: love yourself, choose love that honors you, and in turn, become kinder to the world around you.
Because when we become kinder to ourselves, we really do become kinder to the world.
